English Blog

Identity. Small Word. BIG Meaning. March 1, 2010

Filed under: Identity — writing4english @ 3:28 PM

Who you are has a lot to do with pretty much everything you do in your life. I mean, we all walk through life asking, “Who am I?” And most of us never really figure it out, and those that do, well, I’m jealous.

My “race” has never really had much to do with my identity. I mean, I am straight down the middle Polish, and scotts irish, 50:50. So yeah, St. Patricks day is  a big thing in my family, as well as cathalosism, due to the fact that I’m polish and irish. But Like i said, other than that, it doesn’t have a lot to do with “me.” Of course, I do have to deal with a lot of “dumb pol” jokes, which i think are all just a bunch of stupid sttereotypes (Silverman & Rader 267) but I still think some of them are funny.

But what I think has had the most impact on my identity is Carol Espy. For me it isn’t so much of “Who am I?’ as “Who I’m not.”

Long story short, I have never really known the Carol, who gave birth to me in november of 1990, and then decided drugs were more important than her baby girl. No do I really want to get to know her. it took me a long time to be able to let it go, but because of it, I have spent my life trying to be everything that she isn’t.

And I think I will spend the rest of my life trying not to be her. I mean, before the economy went to hell, I was going to be a stay at home mother, the best mother ever type thing, and I think that stems from not wanting to be a horrible mother like she is to my eight half siblings.

And there is a lot more tha goes into it, but nothing I really feel like talking about. So, I guess I can thank Carol Espy for giving me life, and for making me the person I am today, because I love where I am in my life, and the person I think I am becoming. The end justafies the means. =]

AKA Borkowski


6 Responses to “Identity. Small Word. BIG Meaning.”

  1. I guess i always thought that race and ethnicity make you who you are! but reading your post shows me how something else can define who you are!
    -Geri Gabrielson

  2. I feel the same thing about race, it may be the first thing a person sees, but the things they learn next about you are more important.

    -Jordan Houtby

  3. That is truly awesome how something so hurtful can shape you into someone so strong! It’s really inspirational. 🙂

    Nayeli Garza

  4. You are very strong for being able to learn from the mistakes of others. I know I can barely learn from my own mistakes sometimes. This is very inspiring!

    Olivia Lewis

  5. Very inspiring in both your story of self and your beliefs in race. Amazing.
    Nick Vecellio

  6. Great job, AKAB. I knew there must be someone out there who defined themselves by who they aren’t. Courage, kiddo.

    ~Jenna G.

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